About the game and rules

The purpose of the game

THE SPARK is a consent-based intimacy game for spouses who want to step out of routines and return to each other. You can use it for flirting, closeness, warming up or intercourse. You decide how far you want to go, and you can stop at any time.

The cards draw on knowledge about couple intimacy, responsive desire, sensual touch and safe communication, with gentle inspiration from classic erotic literature. The goal is not performance or acrobatics. The goal is pleasure, tenderness and listening to what you both enjoy.

Intercourse and love are about more than positions. Use the categories to build anticipation at a pace that suits you: first safe contact, then more direct stimulation if you both want it.

The basic rule

Take turns drawing cards.

The person who draws the card does what it says for their spouse, unless the card clearly says otherwise.

Every card may be skipped

If a card does not suit you, simply say: ‘Let’s choose another.’

It needs no explanation. That is part of the game.

«Let’s choose another.»

How to move up a level

You always begin in the green category.

When you both want more, put away the deck you are using and move to the next category. You do not need to draw a set number of cards. You can use one card, many cards, or finish whenever you like.

Pace and duration

Times on the cards are only a guide.

The cards are made for short rounds, so that you can draw several cards and get variety. You can always extend a card if you both like it, or finish earlier if that feels natural.

Who does what

you

The person who drew the card.

your partner

Your spouse.

the receiver

The person receiving kisses, touch, massage or pleasure.

both

Both of you participate actively.

the receiver guides

The person receiving shows, says or guides what feels best.

Conversation, pause and adjustment

Talk while you play. The receiver can always ask for more, less, slower, a different angle, a pause or a complete stop. You do not need a safeword.

The person giving should listen and adjust without making it a problem. If anything feels uncertain, pause, hold each other and find out what feels right next.

The category ladder

1. Green

   Clothes on — flirting, kissing and touching over clothes

2. Yellow

   A private room — more sensual, still not naked

3. Orange

   Underwear — intimate touch and light oral pleasure, no penetration

4. Red

   Naked — focused foreplay, with her pleasure at the centre

5. Purple

   Intercourse — her pleasure first

6. Black

   One step beyond purple — new positions and new pleasure, still safe

7. Wild

   The wildest — bold positions, dominance, impact, edging and stronger toys, with a safeword and aftercare

Accessories

Accessories are always optional unless you agree otherwise yourselves.

If you are unsure, use water-based lubricant with toys.

Use lubricant for direct hand stimulation, vibrator use, dryness, longer sessions, anal touch or whenever something feels like friction rather than pleasure.

Massage oil is best used on external skin. Do not use oil with latex condoms.

Glossary

perineum

— The area between the genitals and anus.

edging

— Building towards orgasm, slowing down, then building up again.

air-pulse toy

— A toy that stimulates with air pulses rather than vibration, such as a Womanizer.

position card

— A card with full guidance in six steps: setup, angle, pace, hands, check-in and adjustment.

Afterwards

Spend a few minutes holding each other. You might say:

• one thing you liked
• one thing that felt good
• one thing you would like to do again